Dear Munchkin,
You've given us quite a scare.
I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. At my regular doctor's appointment today, my OB first said that I really had gained more than she'd like (nearly 8 lbs in 5 weeks) and suggested that I cut milk and fruit except strawberries and blueberries and the occasional 1/2 banana, and change up my exercise routine. Then she measured fundal height and said I'm measuring small - only 31 weeks. So she sent me down the hall for an ultrasound, which showed 3 things: You are breech (instead of having your head down, you are sitting with your tuchus down and your feet and head up). You are indeed small - only 4 lbs., rather than 5.5 lbs which is the norm for 34 weeks. And you don't have enough amniotic fluid around you.
Since my fluid is low, they can't do an inversion to flip you around. So unless you flip on your own, I will have to have a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks. I had my first NST (non-stress test) and my doctor said your heartbeat looked great. But I'm on modified bed rest, which means no exercise, and I need to lie down on my left side for 30 min twice a day, and I must make sure I feel you move at least every few hours. My doctor referred me to an MFM (a maternal-fetal medicine doctor, someone who specializes in high-risk pregnancies). I will see the MFM and my regular doctor every week going forward.
So, baby girl, I'm scared. I'm hoping and praying that you will be just fine. I love you, and your Daddy loves you, and your grandparents love you, and we are all praying as hard as we can. Please be happy and healthy and safe, little one.
love,
Mommy
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
80%
Dear Munchkin,
You will learn, very early on, that your Mommy really likes math. Today I am 32 weeks along, which means I am 80% of the way to "full-term" which is 40 weeks. Although really, anytime after 38 weeks is considered full-term, I think.
We are busy making our house more beautiful - we've done lovely landscaping in the front and are currently working on the backyard. It probably won't get finished before you're born, but it'll be finished afterward, and that will be OK. We ordered a grill, because if we're going to spend more time in our soon-to-be-beautiful backyard, it makes sense to have a grill.
And we ordered a glider, which your Nana is giving us as a gift. I imagine that you will spend many quality hours in that glider - sometimes with me, sometimes with your Daddy, and perhaps even with your Nana and your Grammy and your Papa D. You are becoming more real to me every day, little girl. Last night, we took a breastfeeding class, and now I know a little bit more about what I'll need to do, and where to go for help if I need it. And I can almost imagine holding you in my arms, settled into the glider, as you nurse and we bond in a way unique to mothers and babies.
There is a lot of terrible stuff happening in the world right now, Munchkin. And I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with pain at the thought of so much violence and hatred and anger, and the danger posed to my family and friends and complete strangers in Israel. And then I feel you kick, and I remember that I must believe that the future is bright, not bleak. And I can only hope and pray desperately that the future you will inherit will be filled with light, laughter, and peace.
Munchkin, you and your Daddy are the two best things that have ever happened to me. Daddy and I are already amazed by how much we love you. And that love grows and grows every day!
love,
Mommy
You will learn, very early on, that your Mommy really likes math. Today I am 32 weeks along, which means I am 80% of the way to "full-term" which is 40 weeks. Although really, anytime after 38 weeks is considered full-term, I think.
We are busy making our house more beautiful - we've done lovely landscaping in the front and are currently working on the backyard. It probably won't get finished before you're born, but it'll be finished afterward, and that will be OK. We ordered a grill, because if we're going to spend more time in our soon-to-be-beautiful backyard, it makes sense to have a grill.
And we ordered a glider, which your Nana is giving us as a gift. I imagine that you will spend many quality hours in that glider - sometimes with me, sometimes with your Daddy, and perhaps even with your Nana and your Grammy and your Papa D. You are becoming more real to me every day, little girl. Last night, we took a breastfeeding class, and now I know a little bit more about what I'll need to do, and where to go for help if I need it. And I can almost imagine holding you in my arms, settled into the glider, as you nurse and we bond in a way unique to mothers and babies.
There is a lot of terrible stuff happening in the world right now, Munchkin. And I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with pain at the thought of so much violence and hatred and anger, and the danger posed to my family and friends and complete strangers in Israel. And then I feel you kick, and I remember that I must believe that the future is bright, not bleak. And I can only hope and pray desperately that the future you will inherit will be filled with light, laughter, and peace.
Munchkin, you and your Daddy are the two best things that have ever happened to me. Daddy and I are already amazed by how much we love you. And that love grows and grows every day!
love,
Mommy
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Three quarters
Dear Munchkin,
I am 30w3d now, which means we're only 9 and a half weeks from your expected due date! That amazes me - more than 3/4 of the way there already. Yesterday marked 7 months. I love feeling you move more and more. Tomorrow, Daddy and I are going to learn how to take care of you once you're on the outside, and we'll also take a maternity tour at the hospital. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and got to hear your beautiful heartbeat once again. You are measuring right on track, little one. In another month, Daddy will come with me to my next doctor's appointment and we'll get to see you again - my first ultrasound in a few months. We've missed seeing you and we're so excited to see how much you've grown!
A couple of days ago, I interviewed the first of three doctors for you. I liked her very much. I'm looking forward to meeting the other two as well. Whichever doctor we choose will definitely help us take excellent care of you.
I've been having some stomach upset the last few weeks, and I started to wonder if it's related to dairy. I'm going to stay away from dairy for a few days and then "shock" my system with a glass of milk and see what happens. If it does seem like milk is the problem, I will start taking Lactaid pills - I don't want to give up milk because I know how good it is for both you and me! Hopefully you won't have any problems with milk, and hopefully I won't either after you're born. We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.
We have several things for you already - more than I expected to have at this point! Daddy's friend J gave us a stroller, my friend S gave us a crib and mattress and bedding, and my friend R gave us a bunch of diapers that her baby has already outgrown. And I've put most of our children's books on the bookshelf in your room. Some of them you won't be interested in reading for several years, but you'll grow into them.
Daddy and I love you so much, Munchkin. We're so very much looking forward to meeting you in just a couple more months!
love,
Mommy
I am 30w3d now, which means we're only 9 and a half weeks from your expected due date! That amazes me - more than 3/4 of the way there already. Yesterday marked 7 months. I love feeling you move more and more. Tomorrow, Daddy and I are going to learn how to take care of you once you're on the outside, and we'll also take a maternity tour at the hospital. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and got to hear your beautiful heartbeat once again. You are measuring right on track, little one. In another month, Daddy will come with me to my next doctor's appointment and we'll get to see you again - my first ultrasound in a few months. We've missed seeing you and we're so excited to see how much you've grown!
A couple of days ago, I interviewed the first of three doctors for you. I liked her very much. I'm looking forward to meeting the other two as well. Whichever doctor we choose will definitely help us take excellent care of you.
I've been having some stomach upset the last few weeks, and I started to wonder if it's related to dairy. I'm going to stay away from dairy for a few days and then "shock" my system with a glass of milk and see what happens. If it does seem like milk is the problem, I will start taking Lactaid pills - I don't want to give up milk because I know how good it is for both you and me! Hopefully you won't have any problems with milk, and hopefully I won't either after you're born. We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.
We have several things for you already - more than I expected to have at this point! Daddy's friend J gave us a stroller, my friend S gave us a crib and mattress and bedding, and my friend R gave us a bunch of diapers that her baby has already outgrown. And I've put most of our children's books on the bookshelf in your room. Some of them you won't be interested in reading for several years, but you'll grow into them.
Daddy and I love you so much, Munchkin. We're so very much looking forward to meeting you in just a couple more months!
love,
Mommy
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Butternut
Dear Muncchkin,
Yesterday marked 29 weeks! You are now the size of a butternut squash. But probably much cuter. :)
Last night we listened to my favorite Beethoven CD - piano sonatas. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Not much new to report, little one. Daddy and I love you so much already. We are so looking forward to meeting you (though hopefully not for another couple of months at least)!
love,
Mommy
Yesterday marked 29 weeks! You are now the size of a butternut squash. But probably much cuter. :)
Last night we listened to my favorite Beethoven CD - piano sonatas. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Not much new to report, little one. Daddy and I love you so much already. We are so looking forward to meeting you (though hopefully not for another couple of months at least)!
love,
Mommy
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
6 months down!
Dear Munchkin,
Yesterday I was officially 6 months pregnant! And today is 26 weeks. Just a couple more weeks left in my (your) second trimester. I feel you move more and more, and Daddy and I are just enthralled watching the movements we can actually see in my tummy. And every day, we love you more and more. Your Daddy covers my belly with kisses nearly every day, and now he's trying to teach you to count. He's really hoping you take after me when it comes to math ability.
Keep growing and cooking, baby girl! This week, depending on which website I read, you're the size of a head of lettuce, or a scallion, or a hothouse cucumber. Which is to say, approximately 14 inches, and about 1 lb, 10-12 oz.
Our babymoon last weekend was wonderfully relaxing, and of course it got us thinking about what our next trip will look like - with a suitcase full of diapers and wipes and baby clothes and all the accoutrements we'll need. You'll be a lot of work, Munchkin, but it's work we are SO excited to do. We are so looking forward to meeting you on the outside!
love,
Mommy
Yesterday I was officially 6 months pregnant! And today is 26 weeks. Just a couple more weeks left in my (your) second trimester. I feel you move more and more, and Daddy and I are just enthralled watching the movements we can actually see in my tummy. And every day, we love you more and more. Your Daddy covers my belly with kisses nearly every day, and now he's trying to teach you to count. He's really hoping you take after me when it comes to math ability.
Keep growing and cooking, baby girl! This week, depending on which website I read, you're the size of a head of lettuce, or a scallion, or a hothouse cucumber. Which is to say, approximately 14 inches, and about 1 lb, 10-12 oz.
Our babymoon last weekend was wonderfully relaxing, and of course it got us thinking about what our next trip will look like - with a suitcase full of diapers and wipes and baby clothes and all the accoutrements we'll need. You'll be a lot of work, Munchkin, but it's work we are SO excited to do. We are so looking forward to meeting you on the outside!
love,
Mommy
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
V-Day and then some
Dear Munchkin,
As of today, I am 25 weeks. Last week, 24 weeks, was an important milestone: Viability Day. Babies born at 24 weeks have a 50/50 shot at surviving. On my forum, it's called V-Day and we all celebrate it. Of course, we want you to keep cooking for a lot longer, but it's still comforting to know we've made it this far.
I still feel you moving around, and it's still exciting every time - not much in the way of deliberate kicks, but apparently yesterday you kicked or punched the transducer my doctor uses to hear your heartbeat hard enough to move it! I love that you're already feisty. The appointment went well - you're measuring right on track, and my doctor is pleased.
This weekend, Daddy and I are going on our babymoon - our last weekend trip as a family of two instead of three. We are just planning to relax a lot.
I love you so much, baby girl. Beyond words.
Love,
Mommy
As of today, I am 25 weeks. Last week, 24 weeks, was an important milestone: Viability Day. Babies born at 24 weeks have a 50/50 shot at surviving. On my forum, it's called V-Day and we all celebrate it. Of course, we want you to keep cooking for a lot longer, but it's still comforting to know we've made it this far.
I still feel you moving around, and it's still exciting every time - not much in the way of deliberate kicks, but apparently yesterday you kicked or punched the transducer my doctor uses to hear your heartbeat hard enough to move it! I love that you're already feisty. The appointment went well - you're measuring right on track, and my doctor is pleased.
This weekend, Daddy and I are going on our babymoon - our last weekend trip as a family of two instead of three. We are just planning to relax a lot.
I love you so much, baby girl. Beyond words.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I feel you
Dear Munchkin,
As of today, I am 20 weeks - which means you're officially half-baked. And two days ago, you made your presence known in an entirely new way...
Monday morning, 19w5d, 5.30 am. I'd been awake since 4-ish. Your Daddy and I were staying at Aunt B. and Uncle M.'s house for Passover. I was lying awake reading a Boston Globe in-depth story about the family of Martin Richards, the 8-year-old killed in the Boston Marathon bombings last year. And all of a sudden, I felt these unmistakable twinges. I waited until it had happened a few times (all in exactly the same place) then whispered to Daddy, "I think I just felt Munchkin kick." He woke right up and I put his hand over my abdomen and sure enough, within about 45 seconds it happened again and he could feel it. We looked at each other in shock and amazement, he kissed me...and then went back to sleep. That's your Daddy...! I just sat there in bed, beyond overwhelmed, teary-eyed.
Since then I've felt a few more twinges. It's hard to tell if you're actually kicking or just stretching. Whatever you're doing in there, I hope you are having fun. I hope you feel loved. I hope you are happy and healthy and safe.
Love,
Mommy
As of today, I am 20 weeks - which means you're officially half-baked. And two days ago, you made your presence known in an entirely new way...
Monday morning, 19w5d, 5.30 am. I'd been awake since 4-ish. Your Daddy and I were staying at Aunt B. and Uncle M.'s house for Passover. I was lying awake reading a Boston Globe in-depth story about the family of Martin Richards, the 8-year-old killed in the Boston Marathon bombings last year. And all of a sudden, I felt these unmistakable twinges. I waited until it had happened a few times (all in exactly the same place) then whispered to Daddy, "I think I just felt Munchkin kick." He woke right up and I put his hand over my abdomen and sure enough, within about 45 seconds it happened again and he could feel it. We looked at each other in shock and amazement, he kissed me...and then went back to sleep. That's your Daddy...! I just sat there in bed, beyond overwhelmed, teary-eyed.
Since then I've felt a few more twinges. It's hard to tell if you're actually kicking or just stretching. Whatever you're doing in there, I hope you are having fun. I hope you feel loved. I hope you are happy and healthy and safe.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
And the months fly by
Dear Munchkin,
I haven't posted in a month! But I think about you and love you every moment of every day. I am 19 weeks as of today. Apparently you can hear me now, so I'm trying to watch my language. And I'm trying not to get too frustrated by everyday little annoyances. I still haven't felt you move yet, I don't think, but hopefully I will within the next few weeks. I still have all sorts of scary thoughts about what could go wrong, but I am trying to relax and enjoy this time.
Right now we're getting ready for Pesach, which starts next week. And I find myself trying to envision you in a few years, asking the Four Questions, singing us the songs you've learned at school, asking genuine questions and offering us your own unique insights into the story of our liberation. I wonder who you'll be, little one. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm a week away from being "half-baked" and 5 weeks from "V-Day" (viability day - not that I'd want you to be born at 24 weeks, but babies born at that point have a reasonable chance of survival).
Baby girl, your Daddy and I love you SO much. Daddy kisses you through my belly pretty much every day. We're both so eager to meet you (well, not just yet!) and get to know you. I love having you with me all the time. Keep growing, keep cooking, keep amazing us.
love,
Mommy
I haven't posted in a month! But I think about you and love you every moment of every day. I am 19 weeks as of today. Apparently you can hear me now, so I'm trying to watch my language. And I'm trying not to get too frustrated by everyday little annoyances. I still haven't felt you move yet, I don't think, but hopefully I will within the next few weeks. I still have all sorts of scary thoughts about what could go wrong, but I am trying to relax and enjoy this time.
Right now we're getting ready for Pesach, which starts next week. And I find myself trying to envision you in a few years, asking the Four Questions, singing us the songs you've learned at school, asking genuine questions and offering us your own unique insights into the story of our liberation. I wonder who you'll be, little one. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm a week away from being "half-baked" and 5 weeks from "V-Day" (viability day - not that I'd want you to be born at 24 weeks, but babies born at that point have a reasonable chance of survival).
Baby girl, your Daddy and I love you SO much. Daddy kisses you through my belly pretty much every day. We're both so eager to meet you (well, not just yet!) and get to know you. I love having you with me all the time. Keep growing, keep cooking, keep amazing us.
love,
Mommy
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Second trimester!
Dear Munchkin,
Wowsers! We're more than 1/3 of the way there! That's pretty amazing to me. As far as I know, you're still growing like a champ. My next doctor's appointment is over a week away, and I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
This IUI was the first one where it occurred to me to look up Jewish prayers for infertility and for artificial insemination. What I said was this:
Sweet baby girl, I love you more than life itself. And so does your Daddy. He kisses you every day and tells you how much he loves you. I realize that I mostly talk to you in my head, sometimes in blog posts I compose and don't publish. I want to start talking to you more out loud, singing to you, so you know the sound of love in my voice.
love,
your humbled and grateful Mommy
Wowsers! We're more than 1/3 of the way there! That's pretty amazing to me. As far as I know, you're still growing like a champ. My next doctor's appointment is over a week away, and I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
This IUI was the first one where it occurred to me to look up Jewish prayers for infertility and for artificial insemination. What I said was this:
And God said: Let the waters swam with all sorts of swarming things, that beat with the pulse of life…And God blessed them, and said: ‘Be fertile and grow and fill the waters with life.’I wish I'd found this site and recited all of the verses there. Next time...if there is a next time. But apparently my simple prayer was finally answered the way my heart yearned for it to be answered.
(Genesis 1:20, 22)
Sweet baby girl, I love you more than life itself. And so does your Daddy. He kisses you every day and tells you how much he loves you. I realize that I mostly talk to you in my head, sometimes in blog posts I compose and don't publish. I want to start talking to you more out loud, singing to you, so you know the sound of love in my voice.
love,
your humbled and grateful Mommy
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Normal
Dear Munchkin,
"Normal" is my new favorite word.
The doctor's office called us yesterday - a day earlier than they'd told us they would - and said that the micro-array results are finished and everything looks normal.
Normal.
Somehow I had myself convinced that was a word I would never hear in conjunction with this pregnancy. I was sure there would be something wrong. On my good days, I hoped it would be something minor; other days, I tortured myself with all the awful things I could imagine.
But everything is normal. You are healthy. And you are a girl. My sweet baby-girl-to-be.
And I love you even more than I already did, which I keep thinking is impossible.
love,
Mommy
"Normal" is my new favorite word.
The doctor's office called us yesterday - a day earlier than they'd told us they would - and said that the micro-array results are finished and everything looks normal.
Normal.
Somehow I had myself convinced that was a word I would never hear in conjunction with this pregnancy. I was sure there would be something wrong. On my good days, I hoped it would be something minor; other days, I tortured myself with all the awful things I could imagine.
But everything is normal. You are healthy. And you are a girl. My sweet baby-girl-to-be.
And I love you even more than I already did, which I keep thinking is impossible.
love,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
The waiting game
Dear Munchkin,
You are growing right on schedule. Your heart is beating like a champ (167 bpm on Friday at my 10-week ultrasound, 164 bpm yesterday). I "graduated" from my fertility doctor and had my first appointment with my regular ob/gyn last Friday. Now I am apparently a "normal" pregnant lady.
Except that I'm old - "advanced maternal age," they call it - so yesterday I had a CVS. That led to 24 hours of bed rest - not for me, but for you, little one. We want to make sure you keep cooking in there. We'll get the micro-array results in a week, and the rest of the results a week after that.
love,
the infertile turtle who is trying to be a good Mommy by resting all day, and trying not to go crazy worrying about the results
You are growing right on schedule. Your heart is beating like a champ (167 bpm on Friday at my 10-week ultrasound, 164 bpm yesterday). I "graduated" from my fertility doctor and had my first appointment with my regular ob/gyn last Friday. Now I am apparently a "normal" pregnant lady.
Except that I'm old - "advanced maternal age," they call it - so yesterday I had a CVS. That led to 24 hours of bed rest - not for me, but for you, little one. We want to make sure you keep cooking in there. We'll get the micro-array results in a week, and the rest of the results a week after that.
love,
the infertile turtle who is trying to be a good Mommy by resting all day, and trying not to go crazy worrying about the results
Monday, February 3, 2014
Be still, my beating heart
Dear Munchkin,
It's been a week and a half since my second ultrasound, at 8w2d. We got to see you again and you looked a whole lot more humanoid - with a recognizable head, at least - and we heard the most incredible sound. We heard your heartbeat. A healthy 170 beats per minute. Daddy held my hand and we both fought back tears and it was just out-of-this-world amazing. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you already, little one. Please keep growing. I don't mind if you keep making my body tired and my tummy hurt and my brain a little crazy. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop scaring me with the spotting, mm-kay? I get to see you again this Friday, at 10w2d, and again on Monday at 10w5d for my CVS. Keep on being amazing, Munchkin.
love,
the infertile turtle who already loves being your Mommy
It's been a week and a half since my second ultrasound, at 8w2d. We got to see you again and you looked a whole lot more humanoid - with a recognizable head, at least - and we heard the most incredible sound. We heard your heartbeat. A healthy 170 beats per minute. Daddy held my hand and we both fought back tears and it was just out-of-this-world amazing. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you already, little one. Please keep growing. I don't mind if you keep making my body tired and my tummy hurt and my brain a little crazy. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop scaring me with the spotting, mm-kay? I get to see you again this Friday, at 10w2d, and again on Monday at 10w5d for my CVS. Keep on being amazing, Munchkin.
love,
the infertile turtle who already loves being your Mommy
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Highs and lows
Dear Munchkin,
Last weekend, we told Grammy and Papa D and Nana about you, and they are ecstatic. It was amazing to tell them, to watch their faces as they absorbed the news, to have them share in our joy. An incredible high.
And then the long weekend was over; Daddy and I came back from visiting my parents on Sunday night and got to spend some quality time together on Monday since it was a holiday...and then Monday night, I started spotting.
It was terrifying. All things considered, it was pretty minor. There was nothing at 7 p.m. when I took some medicine, and then at 8.15 when I went to the bathroom again there was blood. Dark red blood. My doctor had asked me at our last visit if I'd had any spotting, and I said no. She said that it's OK if I do, and that I only need to call if it's "bright red blood." This wasn't bright red. Intellectually I was pretty sure it was alright. But Daddy and I held each other tightly and tried (unsuccessfully, in my case) not to cry. I waited an hour, then checked again, and there was no more blood. Checked again a while later, and in the middle of the night, and in the morning; still no more blood. My heart eased a bit, and I was able to breathe again. Still, it was the scariest thing that has happened so far in my pregnancy. Daddy told you, "Munchkin, stay in there and keep growing. Don't you go anywhere. Don't you leave us. It's very important that you start listening to Mommy and Daddy now...it's a good precedent." And you listened, dear Munchkin. Thank G-d and G-d bless you, you listened.
love,
the infertile turtle who knows that at the moment, she's still your Mommy...but hopes to feel even more reassured after tomorrow's ultrasound
Last weekend, we told Grammy and Papa D and Nana about you, and they are ecstatic. It was amazing to tell them, to watch their faces as they absorbed the news, to have them share in our joy. An incredible high.
And then the long weekend was over; Daddy and I came back from visiting my parents on Sunday night and got to spend some quality time together on Monday since it was a holiday...and then Monday night, I started spotting.
It was terrifying. All things considered, it was pretty minor. There was nothing at 7 p.m. when I took some medicine, and then at 8.15 when I went to the bathroom again there was blood. Dark red blood. My doctor had asked me at our last visit if I'd had any spotting, and I said no. She said that it's OK if I do, and that I only need to call if it's "bright red blood." This wasn't bright red. Intellectually I was pretty sure it was alright. But Daddy and I held each other tightly and tried (unsuccessfully, in my case) not to cry. I waited an hour, then checked again, and there was no more blood. Checked again a while later, and in the middle of the night, and in the morning; still no more blood. My heart eased a bit, and I was able to breathe again. Still, it was the scariest thing that has happened so far in my pregnancy. Daddy told you, "Munchkin, stay in there and keep growing. Don't you go anywhere. Don't you leave us. It's very important that you start listening to Mommy and Daddy now...it's a good precedent." And you listened, dear Munchkin. Thank G-d and G-d bless you, you listened.
love,
the infertile turtle who knows that at the moment, she's still your Mommy...but hopes to feel even more reassured after tomorrow's ultrasound
Friday, January 10, 2014
A picture is worth a thousand words
Dear Munchkin,
We saw you today! There is only one of you. You're a tiny little thing - a tenth of an inch or so - but we could see you (the fetal pole) and yolk sac and the gestational sac - and everything looked beautiful, according to our doctor. We even got to see the flickering that is your proto-heartbeat. So that was utterly amazing. I'll go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound, at which time hopefully we'll be able to hear and measure your heartbeat; once we can do that, my risk of miscarriage drops to 5%. Just before the ultrasound, I'll meet with a genetic counselor to see if you have any increased risks, given your cousin with Sotos syndrome and your other cousin with microtia.
If everything looks good at that scan, we will "graduate" from our fertility doctor (reproductive endocrinologist) back to my regular ob/gyn.
Around 10-12 weeks, we'll probably do a CVS. But right now, I should take things one day at a time, and be grateful that you measured exactly on schedule (6w2d) today, and give thanks for the miracle that is YOU, at this moment.
love,
the infertile turtle who is a worrywart of a Mommy
We saw you today! There is only one of you. You're a tiny little thing - a tenth of an inch or so - but we could see you (the fetal pole) and yolk sac and the gestational sac - and everything looked beautiful, according to our doctor. We even got to see the flickering that is your proto-heartbeat. So that was utterly amazing. I'll go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound, at which time hopefully we'll be able to hear and measure your heartbeat; once we can do that, my risk of miscarriage drops to 5%. Just before the ultrasound, I'll meet with a genetic counselor to see if you have any increased risks, given your cousin with Sotos syndrome and your other cousin with microtia.
If everything looks good at that scan, we will "graduate" from our fertility doctor (reproductive endocrinologist) back to my regular ob/gyn.
Around 10-12 weeks, we'll probably do a CVS. But right now, I should take things one day at a time, and be grateful that you measured exactly on schedule (6w2d) today, and give thanks for the miracle that is YOU, at this moment.
love,
the infertile turtle who is a worrywart of a Mommy
Thursday, January 9, 2014
You're only a day away
Dear Munchkin,
It's less than 12 hours until my first ultrasound as pregnant lady. G-d-willing, we will get our first glimpse of you. Please, please, please be healthy. Be growing. Be strong. Your Daddy and I are so excited, and I am so terrified that something will be wrong. We both love you so much already. It's mind-boggling to know that we'll love you even more with each passing day.
I find myself shaking with fear over what the outcome of tomorrow's doctor visit will be. I'm afraid to let myself imagine a positive outcome. I've only just gotten you, dear baby. It scares me senseless to think that I might lose you before I even meet you.
love,
the infertile turtle who is perhaps the most paranoid Mommy ever
It's less than 12 hours until my first ultrasound as pregnant lady. G-d-willing, we will get our first glimpse of you. Please, please, please be healthy. Be growing. Be strong. Your Daddy and I are so excited, and I am so terrified that something will be wrong. We both love you so much already. It's mind-boggling to know that we'll love you even more with each passing day.
I find myself shaking with fear over what the outcome of tomorrow's doctor visit will be. I'm afraid to let myself imagine a positive outcome. I've only just gotten you, dear baby. It scares me senseless to think that I might lose you before I even meet you.
love,
the infertile turtle who is perhaps the most paranoid Mommy ever
Friday, January 3, 2014
5w2d
Dear Baby,
Your Daddy and I have taken to calling you "Munchkin." And we love you infinitely.
On the forums I read, women describe their pregnancies in weeks and days - I am officially 5 weeks and 2 days (5w2d) pregnant. It's a little silly, the way they count; you were conceived precisely 3 weeks and 2 days ago, the day of my fourth IUI. Yet I have to add two extra weeks to the count and aim for a 40-week pregnancy, even though I will only actually be pregnant (G-d-willing) for 38 weeks.
A week from today is our first ultrasound. We probably won't be able to see very much, but we hope to see the gestational sac with the fetal pole and yolk sac. And if we could hear your heartbeat, that would be amazing. All of that would tell us that you are doing well, growing as you should. My mind sometimes drifts down other paths of what we might or might not see, and I have shut it down before I fall apart.
love,
the infertile turtle who still sometimes thinks this is too good to be true, and is waiting for the other shoe to crash down
Your Daddy and I have taken to calling you "Munchkin." And we love you infinitely.
On the forums I read, women describe their pregnancies in weeks and days - I am officially 5 weeks and 2 days (5w2d) pregnant. It's a little silly, the way they count; you were conceived precisely 3 weeks and 2 days ago, the day of my fourth IUI. Yet I have to add two extra weeks to the count and aim for a 40-week pregnancy, even though I will only actually be pregnant (G-d-willing) for 38 weeks.
A week from today is our first ultrasound. We probably won't be able to see very much, but we hope to see the gestational sac with the fetal pole and yolk sac. And if we could hear your heartbeat, that would be amazing. All of that would tell us that you are doing well, growing as you should. My mind sometimes drifts down other paths of what we might or might not see, and I have shut it down before I fall apart.
love,
the infertile turtle who still sometimes thinks this is too good to be true, and is waiting for the other shoe to crash down
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