Dear Munchkin,
As of today, I am 25 weeks. Last week, 24 weeks, was an important milestone: Viability Day. Babies born at 24 weeks have a 50/50 shot at surviving. On my forum, it's called V-Day and we all celebrate it. Of course, we want you to keep cooking for a lot longer, but it's still comforting to know we've made it this far.
I still feel you moving around, and it's still exciting every time - not much in the way of deliberate kicks, but apparently yesterday you kicked or punched the transducer my doctor uses to hear your heartbeat hard enough to move it! I love that you're already feisty. The appointment went well - you're measuring right on track, and my doctor is pleased.
This weekend, Daddy and I are going on our babymoon - our last weekend trip as a family of two instead of three. We are just planning to relax a lot.
I love you so much, baby girl. Beyond words.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I feel you
Dear Munchkin,
As of today, I am 20 weeks - which means you're officially half-baked. And two days ago, you made your presence known in an entirely new way...
Monday morning, 19w5d, 5.30 am. I'd been awake since 4-ish. Your Daddy and I were staying at Aunt B. and Uncle M.'s house for Passover. I was lying awake reading a Boston Globe in-depth story about the family of Martin Richards, the 8-year-old killed in the Boston Marathon bombings last year. And all of a sudden, I felt these unmistakable twinges. I waited until it had happened a few times (all in exactly the same place) then whispered to Daddy, "I think I just felt Munchkin kick." He woke right up and I put his hand over my abdomen and sure enough, within about 45 seconds it happened again and he could feel it. We looked at each other in shock and amazement, he kissed me...and then went back to sleep. That's your Daddy...! I just sat there in bed, beyond overwhelmed, teary-eyed.
Since then I've felt a few more twinges. It's hard to tell if you're actually kicking or just stretching. Whatever you're doing in there, I hope you are having fun. I hope you feel loved. I hope you are happy and healthy and safe.
Love,
Mommy
As of today, I am 20 weeks - which means you're officially half-baked. And two days ago, you made your presence known in an entirely new way...
Monday morning, 19w5d, 5.30 am. I'd been awake since 4-ish. Your Daddy and I were staying at Aunt B. and Uncle M.'s house for Passover. I was lying awake reading a Boston Globe in-depth story about the family of Martin Richards, the 8-year-old killed in the Boston Marathon bombings last year. And all of a sudden, I felt these unmistakable twinges. I waited until it had happened a few times (all in exactly the same place) then whispered to Daddy, "I think I just felt Munchkin kick." He woke right up and I put his hand over my abdomen and sure enough, within about 45 seconds it happened again and he could feel it. We looked at each other in shock and amazement, he kissed me...and then went back to sleep. That's your Daddy...! I just sat there in bed, beyond overwhelmed, teary-eyed.
Since then I've felt a few more twinges. It's hard to tell if you're actually kicking or just stretching. Whatever you're doing in there, I hope you are having fun. I hope you feel loved. I hope you are happy and healthy and safe.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
And the months fly by
Dear Munchkin,
I haven't posted in a month! But I think about you and love you every moment of every day. I am 19 weeks as of today. Apparently you can hear me now, so I'm trying to watch my language. And I'm trying not to get too frustrated by everyday little annoyances. I still haven't felt you move yet, I don't think, but hopefully I will within the next few weeks. I still have all sorts of scary thoughts about what could go wrong, but I am trying to relax and enjoy this time.
Right now we're getting ready for Pesach, which starts next week. And I find myself trying to envision you in a few years, asking the Four Questions, singing us the songs you've learned at school, asking genuine questions and offering us your own unique insights into the story of our liberation. I wonder who you'll be, little one. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm a week away from being "half-baked" and 5 weeks from "V-Day" (viability day - not that I'd want you to be born at 24 weeks, but babies born at that point have a reasonable chance of survival).
Baby girl, your Daddy and I love you SO much. Daddy kisses you through my belly pretty much every day. We're both so eager to meet you (well, not just yet!) and get to know you. I love having you with me all the time. Keep growing, keep cooking, keep amazing us.
love,
Mommy
I haven't posted in a month! But I think about you and love you every moment of every day. I am 19 weeks as of today. Apparently you can hear me now, so I'm trying to watch my language. And I'm trying not to get too frustrated by everyday little annoyances. I still haven't felt you move yet, I don't think, but hopefully I will within the next few weeks. I still have all sorts of scary thoughts about what could go wrong, but I am trying to relax and enjoy this time.
Right now we're getting ready for Pesach, which starts next week. And I find myself trying to envision you in a few years, asking the Four Questions, singing us the songs you've learned at school, asking genuine questions and offering us your own unique insights into the story of our liberation. I wonder who you'll be, little one. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm a week away from being "half-baked" and 5 weeks from "V-Day" (viability day - not that I'd want you to be born at 24 weeks, but babies born at that point have a reasonable chance of survival).
Baby girl, your Daddy and I love you SO much. Daddy kisses you through my belly pretty much every day. We're both so eager to meet you (well, not just yet!) and get to know you. I love having you with me all the time. Keep growing, keep cooking, keep amazing us.
love,
Mommy
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Second trimester!
Dear Munchkin,
Wowsers! We're more than 1/3 of the way there! That's pretty amazing to me. As far as I know, you're still growing like a champ. My next doctor's appointment is over a week away, and I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
This IUI was the first one where it occurred to me to look up Jewish prayers for infertility and for artificial insemination. What I said was this:
Sweet baby girl, I love you more than life itself. And so does your Daddy. He kisses you every day and tells you how much he loves you. I realize that I mostly talk to you in my head, sometimes in blog posts I compose and don't publish. I want to start talking to you more out loud, singing to you, so you know the sound of love in my voice.
love,
your humbled and grateful Mommy
Wowsers! We're more than 1/3 of the way there! That's pretty amazing to me. As far as I know, you're still growing like a champ. My next doctor's appointment is over a week away, and I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
This IUI was the first one where it occurred to me to look up Jewish prayers for infertility and for artificial insemination. What I said was this:
And God said: Let the waters swam with all sorts of swarming things, that beat with the pulse of life…And God blessed them, and said: ‘Be fertile and grow and fill the waters with life.’I wish I'd found this site and recited all of the verses there. Next time...if there is a next time. But apparently my simple prayer was finally answered the way my heart yearned for it to be answered.
(Genesis 1:20, 22)
Sweet baby girl, I love you more than life itself. And so does your Daddy. He kisses you every day and tells you how much he loves you. I realize that I mostly talk to you in my head, sometimes in blog posts I compose and don't publish. I want to start talking to you more out loud, singing to you, so you know the sound of love in my voice.
love,
your humbled and grateful Mommy
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Normal
Dear Munchkin,
"Normal" is my new favorite word.
The doctor's office called us yesterday - a day earlier than they'd told us they would - and said that the micro-array results are finished and everything looks normal.
Normal.
Somehow I had myself convinced that was a word I would never hear in conjunction with this pregnancy. I was sure there would be something wrong. On my good days, I hoped it would be something minor; other days, I tortured myself with all the awful things I could imagine.
But everything is normal. You are healthy. And you are a girl. My sweet baby-girl-to-be.
And I love you even more than I already did, which I keep thinking is impossible.
love,
Mommy
"Normal" is my new favorite word.
The doctor's office called us yesterday - a day earlier than they'd told us they would - and said that the micro-array results are finished and everything looks normal.
Normal.
Somehow I had myself convinced that was a word I would never hear in conjunction with this pregnancy. I was sure there would be something wrong. On my good days, I hoped it would be something minor; other days, I tortured myself with all the awful things I could imagine.
But everything is normal. You are healthy. And you are a girl. My sweet baby-girl-to-be.
And I love you even more than I already did, which I keep thinking is impossible.
love,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
The waiting game
Dear Munchkin,
You are growing right on schedule. Your heart is beating like a champ (167 bpm on Friday at my 10-week ultrasound, 164 bpm yesterday). I "graduated" from my fertility doctor and had my first appointment with my regular ob/gyn last Friday. Now I am apparently a "normal" pregnant lady.
Except that I'm old - "advanced maternal age," they call it - so yesterday I had a CVS. That led to 24 hours of bed rest - not for me, but for you, little one. We want to make sure you keep cooking in there. We'll get the micro-array results in a week, and the rest of the results a week after that.
love,
the infertile turtle who is trying to be a good Mommy by resting all day, and trying not to go crazy worrying about the results
You are growing right on schedule. Your heart is beating like a champ (167 bpm on Friday at my 10-week ultrasound, 164 bpm yesterday). I "graduated" from my fertility doctor and had my first appointment with my regular ob/gyn last Friday. Now I am apparently a "normal" pregnant lady.
Except that I'm old - "advanced maternal age," they call it - so yesterday I had a CVS. That led to 24 hours of bed rest - not for me, but for you, little one. We want to make sure you keep cooking in there. We'll get the micro-array results in a week, and the rest of the results a week after that.
love,
the infertile turtle who is trying to be a good Mommy by resting all day, and trying not to go crazy worrying about the results
Monday, February 3, 2014
Be still, my beating heart
Dear Munchkin,
It's been a week and a half since my second ultrasound, at 8w2d. We got to see you again and you looked a whole lot more humanoid - with a recognizable head, at least - and we heard the most incredible sound. We heard your heartbeat. A healthy 170 beats per minute. Daddy held my hand and we both fought back tears and it was just out-of-this-world amazing. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you already, little one. Please keep growing. I don't mind if you keep making my body tired and my tummy hurt and my brain a little crazy. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop scaring me with the spotting, mm-kay? I get to see you again this Friday, at 10w2d, and again on Monday at 10w5d for my CVS. Keep on being amazing, Munchkin.
love,
the infertile turtle who already loves being your Mommy
It's been a week and a half since my second ultrasound, at 8w2d. We got to see you again and you looked a whole lot more humanoid - with a recognizable head, at least - and we heard the most incredible sound. We heard your heartbeat. A healthy 170 beats per minute. Daddy held my hand and we both fought back tears and it was just out-of-this-world amazing. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you already, little one. Please keep growing. I don't mind if you keep making my body tired and my tummy hurt and my brain a little crazy. But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop scaring me with the spotting, mm-kay? I get to see you again this Friday, at 10w2d, and again on Monday at 10w5d for my CVS. Keep on being amazing, Munchkin.
love,
the infertile turtle who already loves being your Mommy
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